「 love was in the air, 2:18 AM 」

22 more hours to the brand new year...

She's tired...
Just got home with a huge straw bag filled with her shopping trophies...
Had a little drink just now...
Felt a little groggy...
Nope...
Yeesh can drink...
It's just that she "intelligently" went to drink on a mega empty stomach...

She just went out with two of her best friends...
Wanted to try to see if she could close the gap...
Verdict?
Nope... She can't.
She's drifted too far away from them...
She was much happier shopping on her own than with them...
Shopping went fine...
How can shopping ever go wrong?
But the feeling was different...
Yeesh nearly snapped at them...

No no...not just nearly...
Yeesh DID snap at them...

Why?
Were they hostile/unfriendly?
Nope...
It was just Yeesh.
She was being anti social.
She was just on a mega "self protection" mode...

She's quite had enough of insults passed at her bags and her shopping and the clothes she likes even tho she know those insults were just simple jokes...
She fails to understand why she has to be teased just because of difference in preferences...

Yes, she may appear as if it didn't hurt...
That's how she looks all the time anyway...
But does it really mean that she didn't care?
Nope... she cared. BIG time...

Deep down, she wonders why her friends do that to her...
Just because she goes for the things they do not like?
If she can accept their taste...
Why can't they just accept hers?

And nope....
Saying things like:" Yeesh is weird you noe? She likes all the things we don't like..." does not help...
It just hurts more...
It makes Yeesh feel as if she has really bad taste...
Even though deep down inside her heart, she thinks that her taste is absolutely fine...

Nope... it's not like they don't care...
They are the two best girlfriends anyone can have...
The moment Yeesh said she was feeling groggy, they stepped right in to help take good care of her...
They just need to learn how to read her mind better...

B1's almost there.
She could tell that Yeesh was about to snap...
The other one? B2?
Well, let's just say she still needs some coaching...
Great actions and words do not mean anything...
They are all but actions and words...

It's the understanding that matters...
Yeesh likes the "look"...
With just lookin at the eyes of B1, Yeesh can feel a sense of assurance and calmness...
It makes her feel loved just to know that someone understands her...

YYY
「 love was in the air, 11:40 PM 」

Most of you who have heard me talk abt LT noe that i want revenge yeah? Well, i still do. I still wanna let him know that he was a bastard. I wanna purposely bring my to-be-bf to somewhere he will be at. Then show him how happy i am/will be. I'm not expecting him to feel anything. I don't need him to feel anything at all. Whether he dies now or not is seriously not smthg that's of any concern to me.
Some of you, ok... MOST of you have reflected that this move(revenge) shows that i have not gotten over him. However, i don't see it this way. I have gotten over him. And nope, i'm not gonna USE my next bf. If i'm gonna take revenge, i'm gonna let my bf noe about it. And nope, i don't think my bf will be unhappy about it. What wrong with showing him off to other people? Like what i tell sharon, i just wanna show off my bf.
Show him off to BOTH my friends and LT.
To my friends so that they will feel happy for me that i have found my happiness. I know that my friends are quite sianz of seeing me being upset and so dull. I'm pretty sure that they will b happy to see a cheerful and happy me.
To LT so that i will feel happy. It's like a "Yeah... i've got a better guy than u now. I'm feeling so much happier than i was with you. U INFERIOR BEING!!!!" Woo Hoo~~~ Hahhahahah... yeah. Yishan is childish. But then why should i hide the fact that i think he is a bastard and that my to-be-bf is MUCH better than him? Hhahahaha...
Ok.. i talk like i have a to-be-bf on hand. Nopes... i don't. And i must clarify that. Don't wanna spoil my chances with some of the newly discovered cute guys. Whahahha...

YYY
「 love was in the air, 1:23 AM 」

I'm Sam!





Cynical and clumsy, but loyal and brave, you're Samwise Gamgee!

"I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you and it as well. So up you get! Come on, Mr. Frodo dear! Sam will give you a ride. Just tell him where to go, and he'll go."


Which hobbit in the fellowship of the Ring would you be?

I'm a Hobbit!





Though technically not your own race, you represent what's most enjoyable and best in the Lord of the Rings world. Your love, spirit and selflessness are unsurpassed among your Middle Earth brethren.


Which Lord of the Rings race are you?

What Piece of LotR Jewelry Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Frodo Baggins-you are a quiet person, but very
loyal and determined. You aren't much for
adventures and action, but you will always pull
through for your friends and will do anything
for the people you love. Yay.


Which LOTR Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are...

Gandalf!


You are wise and know many things about the ring.
If the ring was not evil, I would give you the
ring to rule Middle Earth. But, I'm hoping you
wouldn't become evil like Saruman. *shudder*
The last thing we need is a second wizard gone
bad. Well, anywayz, my all-knowing friend, good
job!



Which LotR character from the Fellowship do you resemble?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are Brego! Here you come to save the day! You
are one cool horse, but slightly on the picky
side, but hey having a kick butt onwer whos the
king, yea definately awesome. You dream of your
golden stable in Gondor, you material horse
you.


Which LOTR Horse Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Orlando is the guy for you. The sexy dark haired
adventurer from England is hard for anyone to
give up!! (Legolas)


Which Lord of the Rings actor is your best match?
brought to you by Quizilla

You like Merry. He's slightly more intelligent than
the other hobbits, and looks good tied up.
You'd better have a good supply of apples and
carrots around for this hungry hobbit lad.


Who is your dream LotR guy?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are an elf and thus should get married to the
Prince of Mirkwood, Legolas!! you lucky girl!!!


Which LOTR Bride are you and Who Should your Groom Be???
brought to you by Quizilla

YYY

Think i'm going crazy from lack of sleep. Got home only at 6am this morning after a night of clubbing at Ministry of Sound. Slept for 4 hours starting from 830am and woke up only at 1230pm. Well, one night at MoS. Not very long but enough to get me thinking about things. Reached MoS at around 1030pm. Queued for 1.5 hours and finally got in at 12mn. During this 1.5 hours wait, smurf was talking to joyce and lenny. Hx and cass were talking to each other, deb deb was with her NUS friends and the rest of the guys were somewhere out there. So, what was i doing? I was looking like an absolute loner. I stood in the queue, messaging wz and stoning. To some, yishan was just stoning cos she was irritated with having to be in the queue for so long. For those who were more observant, yishan was feeling absolutely left out. I dunno if anyone noticed but my few closest friends sure didn't. Yeah, i'm positively hurt that they didn't notice a thing at all and i won't bother to hide it.
It's been going on for so long i don't even know why i didn't mention it before. When the two of them laugh at me for something, when they tease me about something and mention things like how i have failed to remember their food preferences or their work schedule, i know that they mean no harm. They were just having a bit of plain old fun "suaning". But, they had no idea what those comments meant to me. They try their very best to be nice to me, to protect me from harm and lousy guys, take care of me feelings and make sure that they always make time for their dear fren, me. I'm not blaming them. They are really not at fault. They have been really really good friends but then, i can tell that i'm just not as impt as the other one is to them. Okok... fine. I think i'm not speaking sense. Let me explain. A thinks of B as her closest friend and Yishan as the next closest friend. The same goes for B. Yishan is always in second place. And i'm sick and tired of that. Why am i always second best? It's like i'll never be among the worst. This i know. I always wanna be excellent in whatever i do. But although i'm never the worst, i'm never the best either. It's always like "yishan is one of the better ones."
Can't i just be the best for once?
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Anyway, MoS wasn't too bad. Although i was thinking a lot, waiting for 1.5 hours before i got in and the place had bad music, i had fun. I was pretty wild. Didn't break my promise not to go beyond 5 drinks though.
Well, i received some attention from some angmohs over there and i was happy. Yeah, Lenny was correct in saying that i enjoyed the attention. I didn't mind them dancing so close to me, grabbing my hand to get me to help his friend pull his collar nicely or them breaking through the "wall" the guys had built around us to start dancing beside me. In fact, i was happy. Yup, i'm an attention seeking girl, and i don't really care even if the attention is not for the correct reason.
When i just rebonded my hair, a friend said that i made the correct decision. She thought i looked better. Well, i like it too. But it's still not enough. I wanna look stunning. I wanna make guys turn their heads and look at me. I wanna be envied. I want attention. No worries, i know this is unhealthy. I don't seem like i'm in the correct state of mind. But well, that's what happens when u want revenge. You don't think straight. It's almost been a year now. Nope, i have not given up on the idea of revenge. Forget about telling me to let it go. I won't. Why should i be hurt and then keep quiet about it? I want to look better than i was a year ago. Be more confident than i was a year ago. Be more happy than i was a year ago. AND, i wanna show it all to him. I wanna make him regret ever having hurt me. I wanna make him realise that my life has gone on, WITHOUT him. I wanna let him know that i'm now MUCH happier than i ever was when i was with him. and i don't think there's anything wrong with it. Yishan is simply not a girl who will let herself be bullied and let the fella get away with it.

YYY
「 love was in the air, 10:07 PM 」

Had a really lousy day. Won't bother hiding it. I'm pissed off and i'm gonna BITCH abt it.

Went to work really early this morn. Wanted to wakey at 7am but my mum woke me up at 645am. Can't i just sleep like another 15 minutes? Spare me larhs... I was planning to wakey at 7 then leave the house at 730 then reach admiralty mrt at 745, just in time to grab a nice coffee before i start work. I ended up having a lousy cup of tea at the coffeeshop near my house. Haiz... Not that having breakfast with my parents ruined my day larhs... I was pretty happy, haven't had breakfast with them in ages. But why did the coffeeshop have to serve lousy tea? The start of my day ruined liaos larhs...

After that, i got to work. My oh my... the people there were bad. I'm not saying like they are evil people who are scheming. It's just that they don't really take the initiative to help out. Furthermore, they are pretty new to the job so haiz... my mum and i had to play supermummy and superdotter. So guess how work was like? Well, for those of you who have heard me complain orientation run 3, it's pretty much about the same. But luckily, the people were slightly more cooperative.

After work, i got home hoping for a good dinner. In the end, cos my whole family was so tired (my mummy n i cos of work, my sis cos of a camp, my daddy cos of not being able to sleep yest nite), my daddy went out to ta pao dinner. He din buy what i wanted to eat!!! Fine, i can understand why he decided to buy a pack of fried rice for me to share with my sis (cos she was still sleeping -- not very wise to get noodles yeah?by the time she wakeys, the noodles will be erm... ), BUT it still doesn't stop me from being upset about it yeah?

And so... that was a really short summary about my lousy day. Anyway, i've kinda noticed recently that my life seems to revolve around only me. I'm a pretty self centered person i've realised. I dunno why i suddenly thought of that. I'm not very good at putting down my deep deep thoughts into words. I just suddenly realise i'm not very thoughtful towards others. Guess it's cos of how frequently i've been using the following phrase. "I can understand why he's doing that BUT it doesn't stop me from getting upset right?" For those of you who know what/who i'm talking about, good for you. For those who dunno, nvm nvm.

YYY
「 love was in the air, 10:47 PM 」

Got myself a nice new skin for x'mas. Went on to blogskins to search for some pretty ones and it took me like 3 hours to juzt find smthg as simple as this. Haiz... it's either i'm old-fashioned, the ppl who create skins dunno that x'mas means red and green, too few people care about x'mas or i'm way too picky for my own good. I had to sieve through all the nonsense. Oh gosh~

Anyway, went out with 61 and the section 6 facis yesterday. Had so much fun. Hhahah... i haven't had such fun in quite a long time. Guess it kinda helps. Especially when your brain starts to think too much for its own good again.

Settlers' Cafe with 61
We played a couple of games. I totally went crazy. Hahhaha... especially at Niagara Falls when i sabotaged everyone by changing the weather. But, i still didn't win!! Jia Wen was the ultimate. All of them were either guarding against Lacy or I but in the end, Jia Wen got 7 gems first. Not Fair!!! I wanna play again!!! Hhahah... i was so proud that i got my PINK gem.
After that, i insisted that we've had enough of logical thinking plus scheming games. Got ryan to get us a crazy game. And my oh my... was it crazy or what. It's called PIT and it's just like a crazier version of heart attack. Instead of just passing one card, you can pass multiple cards and over to any player at the table. Can u imagine the amount of shouting? Hhahah...
Anyway, i wanna go back there someday. I wanna win at Niagara Falls and the funny game that made us build bridges. And yeah!!! I also wanna hit ryan's hand. Hhahah...

Brewerkz and TCC with section 6 facis
2nd trip to Brewerkz in the same week. Was able to recommend the other facis what to eat. In fact, i was so familiar with the menu that they thought i used to work there. Hhahahah... so funny. Anyway, cos i ate smthg at Settlers' Cafe before i went over to Brewerkz, i wasn't hungry at all. Wasted. I wanted to eat sausages and mash and of cos, drink my golden ale. Hhahah... too bad. They will just hafta wait.
Went to TCC after our dinner. Hhahah... my second coffee of that day. And it was once again, with Jia Wen. Saw some Mediacorp actor when i went to the washroom with Jia Wen and Jo-Ann. Can't remember his name though. And oh my, his eyes were super mega huge. Like they were from some japanese manga. Hhahahah... i have never seen a guy with such huge eyes. (Sharon, jealous?) Hhahah... Anyway, Jia Wen and i tried some very cute drink. Butter Rum n Raisin Mocha... hahaha... it was good. I suggest you guys try it some day. =)

Oh well, had such fun that day. Did quite a bit for marketing for Waikiki as well. Felt as if my self worth was back for a while. Hope the rest of hols will be good as well. Okok.. Yeesh has always known that she's of some value. But people smtimes wonder right? Time to start to read some meaningful stuff to help me found my way in life. =P Well, i've been thinking a lot about my self worth. So that day when i eventually could see the direction that marketing should head, i was happy. Furthermore, i was happy to be able to do something for Waikiki. I was happy to know that at the next meeting, if i get shot at, i will be able to handle it.

YYY
「 love was in the air, 1:46 AM 」

Is being loved the same as loving someone?
NOPE.
They are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Answered this a year ago. Shall answer it again.
When u love someone, every single little teeny weeny thing he does affects you and your mood. He need not do anything very special because there is no need to. He is already special enough. You would go thru loads for him. Why? Well, sometimes cos he wants you to. Other times? Cos u THINK he MIGHT want you to change. You would do anything.
And when someone loves you? Well, sometimes it can get irritating. Things he does, as much as they may seem like the sweetest things on earth, have absolutely no effect on you. Change for him? Bah... Forget it.
Hope that was good enough answer my dearie.
A year ago, someone asked. Would u rather love or be loved? I answered: To Love.
A year later, i've been through a lot. Been hurt. But my answer remains the same. To Love.
Yeah... Yeesh's pretty stubborn. Call her anal if you want to. That's just the way she is. Rather to have loved and hurt than to not have loved at all.

YYY
「 love was in the air, 1:06 AM 」

现在是凌晨1.07分。有一点累了可是头一碰到我的枕头我就突然非常清醒。

刚才抱着我的玩具熊时突然有很多感触。

我抱着它时，它感觉得到吗？如果它感觉得到，那它为什么没有回应,为什么从来不回抱我呢？为什么其他人是这样，它也是这样呢？

如果它感觉不到，那我为什么还一直抱着它不放呢？为什么只有我在付出？为什么不放弃呢？爱得如此得累，那又何必？

我真的不明白感情是怎么样的一回事。就好像我和我的的玩具熊吗？它从来没有离开我的身边，但它也从来没主动给过我一个拥抱。 我也差不了多少，有许多许多的爱可以给别人，却从来都没分一点给它。

靠！我真的好傻。 连抱着一个陪了我两年的玩具熊都有这么多的感触。

YYY
「 love was in the air, 10:29 PM 」

You are a Romantic Realist

Okay, so you fall in the middle.

You know that love isn't like a greeting card

Yet you can always find a greeting card to describe your feelings.



You are the best of both worlds

Girly yet independent, dreamy yet serious.

Almost any guy can find balance with you.




Are You Romantic or Realistic? Take This Quiz :-)



Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

YYY
「 love was in the air, 10:06 PM 」

Protector


The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla



Your lip gloss flavor is Chocolate!
You enjoy the finer things in life, and you always
look your best. You're really romantic, and you
just can't wait for that special someone to
sweep you off your feet. You're a real fun
person to be with, but sometimes your
daydreaming can annoy people.


What flavor of lip gloss are you? (Girls only obviously.)
brought to you by Quizilla

yucks. I've never tried chocolate lipgloss before. And yeah... i noe. I dream too much.

YYY
「 love was in the air, 4:37 PM 」

I remember nine
As if it were yesterday
I can hear my friends outside of my window
Say, "Can you come out and play?"
Anna brought a bag of her mama's cooking spoons
So we could dig a big hole, to try to reach China
And get there by early noon

Our imaginations soared on golden wings
Across a sky filled with dreams
Any child could wear a paper crown
And be a king or queen at nine

I remember days of playing without a care
Then coming home with sniffles and clothes hanging off me
With leaves in my hair
Everybody's child belonged to the neighborhood
You could tell your troubles to old Aunt Savannah
Cause she always understood

Running endless through a field
Of emerald green beneath a broad
Open sky
I will treasure all my days when
I was innocent and free at nine

Runnin' and jumpin' and skippin' and laughin'
Rollin' and shakin' and jokin' and hidin'
Mother may I, Simon says, you're it, you spit
Hide and seek, you peeked, no I didn't, yes you did
You're not fair, I don't care, I saw Sammy's underwear
Double dutch, kick ball, hop scotch, bobby socks
Mary Mack all dressed in black
Who is that? Can she play jacks?
I'm the doctor, you're the nurse
Whatchu' mean, I was first
Shovin' and pushin'
cryin' and screamin'
Dreamin' and beamin' and dancin' in a line
You show me yours, I'll show you mine
Ah uh I'm going home it's dinner time…nine


Sharon babe, remember this song? Hhahhaha... As i sat there supposedly studying QM, my mind couldn't help drifting. Oh... how i totally regret not having being a bit more hardworking and queue for Dianne Reeves' CD! Now, i really wanna listen to this song but can't cos i haven't been able find a copy of her CD.
Miss this song most out of all the songs i heard that night at the concert cos i've always wished that i will never grow up. I wanna remain a little girl who can sit in front of the tv for hours watching sesame street. I wanna listen to Elmo and Ernie sing. I wanna see Ernie irritate Bernie (his name is Bert i noe... but Bernie sounds nicer) with his songs and endless questions. Hahahha... How silly. And to think i used to get oh-so-irritated by Ernie. Sometimes i wished he would juzt keep quiet. Ask so many senseless questions!!! Now, i wanna be like him. I don't wanna be sensible. I wanna be silly. I don't wanna know that i have to study my QM. -bleahs-
Anyway, if anyone is thinking of getting me a christmas pressie, i want Dianne Reeves' CD!!!

YYY

令人讨厌的闹钟在大约7点钟响起了。
从我一睁开眼睛， 我就在期盼听见手机铃声。
终于，手机响了。。。
可是。。。
在另一端的人却说着我不想听的话。
在这种情形下，我应该如何反应呢？

我强颜欢笑，
装着什么事都没有发生。
然后又如行尸走肉般的回到自己的书桌开始埋头苦干。。。

加油吧！ 其他事还是迟一点再想吧。。。不想也行。

YYY
「 love was in the air, 9:57 AM 」

	Tenderheart Bear You are thinker, organizer, peacekeeper, and leader all in one. You have a power to command attention and people listen to you. However, you are often so concerned about not hurting others' feelings that you don't tell them what they need to hear and this gets you both into trouble. But you always have loyal friends to help you out.
Take the Which Care Bear Are You? Quiz!

Darling WeN, i think you should do this quiz for obvious reasons. Hhahaha... Anyway, just for those people without a childhood or don't watch carebears, Funshine bear is the yellowish orange one. The one with the sun on his belly. =)

YYY

Ahhh... what great enjoyment.
To be drinking a nice cup of earl gray and listening to nice music on Gold 90.5. =)
It'll be better if i didn't have a stack of twc readings beside me. -frowns-

(Fine. I live in the 80s and i have auntie taste k?)

YYY